


Your Heart is My Sun

by DoctorsOrders



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angsty Schmoop, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, M/M, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Not Canon Compliant, Post Nibiru, Post-Star Trek (2009), Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-07-18 12:36:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7315483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorsOrders/pseuds/DoctorsOrders
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post Nibiru incident, what might have happened if Pike couldn't make Jim his first officer.<br/>Bones is hopelessly in love with Jim and willing to do anything for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your Heart is My Sun

**Author's Note:**

> How in hell did this get over 1k? I got inspired to write this while waiting on the platform for my morning train, and then I wrote 90% of it on my commute to work. I don't even know...I just wanted some fluffy angst? Is that even a thing? More mckirk trash that no one asked for (instead of the things I'm supposed to working on)

Jim hadn’t spoken two words since he’d returned from his bedroom. Dinner had been silence, which was something in the past Leonard would have taken no qualms with, but after four years he knew Jim. Jim was a chatterbox even on the bad days, it kept his spirits up. But now, with the glaze in Jim’s eyes and the fact that he’d barely eaten at all, Leonard was starting to get concerned. 

 

“Come to bed with me?” Leonard asked after another two hours of silence, Jim curled next to him on the couch, not watching a holovid, not tapping at his PADD, just staring at the wall with his mouth sealed shut. 

 

Jim looked at him, really looked at him for the first time in hours, the dead stare gone, replaced with fear and panic. 

 

“Darlin’, what is it?” Leonard prodded, taking Jim’s hand. 

 

“They're sending me back,” Jim’s voice was rough as he looked down, “To the academy.”

 

Leonard’s brow furrowed in confusion, “They're not, they _can’t_. Jim, Pike won't let that happen.”

 

Jim buried his face in his hands, “He is, he has to! I just…it was Pike I was talking to. They wanted a dishonorable discharge for me, this was the compromise. I have to go back…I have to.” 

 

It hit Leonard like a ton of bricks. This was pretty much Jim’s worst nightmare. Being told he wasn’t good enough, that he hadn’t worked hard enough. Moving backwards instead of going forward. A standstill. Jim Kirk was not good at staying still. Leonard did the only thing he could do, he lied, “It’s alright Jim, it's just a power play, they won't keep you there more than a year.” 

 

It was meant to calm him, make Jim understand this was temporary, but it seemed to have the opposite effect. 

 

“A _year_?” Jim cried, his voice cracking, “Oh _god_ , a year…”

 

“Shhh, darlin’ it’s alright. You’re going to be fine.” 

 

“Everyone’s going to treat me like shit…the professors especially. They already fucking hated me, Bones. What am I going to do without your scowl to chase them off?” Jim laughed, a small raspy sound. “How are you going to manage on that ship without me for a year?”

 

Leonard’s face contorted, “I’m not going back out there without you! The only reason I'm on that godforsaken tank is you, kid.” He patted Jim’s shoulder, trying to keep him grounded, since Jim was clearly losing his mind if he thought Leonard would set foot on a starship without him. 

 

Jim shot him an incredulous look, “…They’re not going to let you come with me.”

 

“Like hell they're not! I’d like to seem them fucking try, I’ll defer until they’ve decided they’re done making an example of you.” 

 

“Bones! They're not going to let you,” Jim repeated desperately, “It's your first year out, and even if they did, there's not a chance we'll get stationed together again when you reactivate.” He took a few deep breaths, trying to hold back the tears Leonard could hear forming, “You can't throw all this away for me.”

 

Wasn’t that just a heartbreaking idea, Jim thinking that Leonard had anything without him.

 

They sat in an empty silence while Leonard turned the thought over in his head, trying to think of a way to make it sound less alarming. He couldn’t, but he wasn’t willing to let Jim think he’d give in that easily. 

 

“We could get married,” he only paused for a moment, barreling though the rest, “They’ll have to let me work Earth-side until you’re done, and they have to station us together afterwards.” 

 

Jim’s head snapped up, his eyes locking with Leonard’s, “What…? No, Bones, I can’t ask you to—”

 

Leonard shushed him gently, stroking Jim’s cheek, “You’re not asking, darlin’, I’m offering.”

 

“Why would you do that for me?” 

 

Bones snorted, not entirely appropriate for the situation. “It’s not just for you, kid. it’s a selfish offer.” He let out a shaky breath, “I can’t lose you now.”  

 

“But Bones,” Jim automatically protested, “I _know_ how you feel about that. You said never, that you’d _never, ever_ do that again.”

 

That was fair. Leonard did remember saying that, that he’d never ever get married, there was too much that could go wrong, and he was too much of a mess to ask someone to commit to him like that again. “I didn’t know it would be like this, _us_ , when I said that,” he countered quietly. 

 

“You’d really want to marry me? _Me?_ Did you hear me when I said the part about them sending me back to the academy because I’m a reckless failure?” Jim asked, disbelief hanging as a heavy question. 

 

“Yes _you_ , dumbass. If you want to tie yourself to this washed-up, old divorcee, I very much want you. And Jim, you might be reckless, but you’re _not_ a failure, no matter what any brass-toting asshole does or says.” 

 

Jim’s eyes swam. He stared at Leonard, biting his lip so hard the thin skin looked like it might burst.

 

“Hey,” Leonard said taking his hand and kissing it gently, “You can’t cry unless you’re going to say yes, those are the rules.” He hoped the humor was a good cover for the fact that he was panicking that Jim might say no. It was a lot to put out there. Sure they’d been dating for three years or so now, but still, marriage—to Leonard none the less—was a lot to ask for. 

 

Jim laughed wetly squeezing Leonard’s hand, “Where’s my ring, huh?”

 

“I’m not getting you a ring unless you say yes, seems like a waste of time.” 

 

“Do you mean it?” Jim tone was all awe, “Do you really mean it?”

 

“Should I get down on one knee? Call your mom? Do you want the whole charade?” Leonard said dryly. 

 

“Would you?” Jim asked with a mischievous grin. 

 

“Don’t push it, kid.” 

 

“Yes,” Jim whispered finally. 

 

“Yes?” he confirmed, almost not believing his ears. 

 

“ _Yes_ , Bones. I’ll marry you.” 

 

Suddenly Leonard wondered if he’d pushed too hard in Jim’s fragile state. “You can think about it if you want, darlin’.” he offered somewhat belatedly. “You don’t have to agree now. It’s a big—”

 

“Shut up, I want to marry you.” Jim cut him off quickly. “I’m not gonna give you the chance to change your mind, wake up in the morning and take the offer back.” 

 

“Do you want me to ask you again in the morning? Just so you know I really meant it?” Leonard asked before brushing Jim’s cheek with a kiss. 

 

“I know you mean it,” Jim whispered against his ear. “God, I love you so fucking much, Bones.” 

 

“I love you too, darlin’, more than you know."


End file.
